Couples who are engaged are looking forward to a lot of happy planning in their future. But sometimes, engaged couples can be so preoccupied with the fun, ceremonial plans for their relationship that they neglect to address the unhealthy behaviors that will cause problems for them once the honeymoon is over. One particularly devastating relationship problem is addiction.
Addiction is something that can be hidden for a long time in a relationship, but once the relationship reaches a certain level of commitment, addiction will become apparent. An alcoholic will reveal frequent nights of being incapacitated, and frequent mornings of being hungover. A sex addict will exhibit abnormal behaviors in the bedroom, such as control and anger.
It is a very common mistake for the spouse-to-be to tell themselves they should wait until the marriage begins before they gently urge their partner to correct their addictive behavior. Most engagements are between relatively new couples who do not want to rock the boat too much in the relationship. However, this is one of the worst tactics a person can adopt going into a new marriage. Being upfront and transparent about your expectations of marriage is imperative during engagement in order to make your partner understand your needs and in order to set personal boundaries within the relationship. The longer a person waits to enforce healthy relationship standards, the harder it will be to have them met.
Perhaps you are the spouse who waited too long to deal with addiction, and now the addiction is destroying your spouse’s life as well as yours. Perhaps you are engaged, and right now you have the chance to address a serious problem before it increases in severity. Do not hesitate to seek professional help. Real cases of addiction require real professional intervention in order to heal, and mental health experts are eager to help addicts find their way to recovery.