When Addiction is Allowed to Thrive in a Marriage
Some people who are engaged to be married or recently married begin to notice concerning things about their partner. They are showing signs of addiction, or they are secretive about where time and money goes. It could be that the concerned partner is aware that the person they are in a relationship with has an addiction, but does not know what to do about it. The choice to act is a critical one. Consider the typical story of someone who tries to sweep their partner’s addiction under the rug.
Because addiction is a confirmed disease, mental disorder and generally unhealthy behavior, it can never help a marriage – only hurt it. Spouses of addicts have described the experience of being married to an addict as exhausting, painful, maddening and frightening. Addicts do not have an appropriate amount of time, money or energy to put toward their spouse because they are focusing it on their addiction. Therefore, they begin to experience feelings of neglect. Some spouses never address the issue, and their feelings of neglect grows into a distant, unhappy marriage. Others address the matter, and are almost never met with a healthy response. Addicts are protective of their addiction, and will fight someone who challenges it. This can lead to intense fighting, even scenes of violence, without the proper intervention. If the addiction becomes severe. the addict will lose touch with reality and jeopardize their well-being and safety, inflicting fear and stress on their partner. All of this culminates to either a very unhappy, broken marriage or a painful divorce.
The necessity of addressing your partner’s addiction with professional help is one that cannot be overlooked. Your mental and physical health and safety depend on it. If your spouse or romantic partner is exhibiting signs of addiction, reach out for help a soon as possible. Contact a local addiction service network or rehabilitation center to be put in touch with a professional interventionist and draw your support system close to you. There is hope for change and recovery!