When Addiction is Allowed to Thrive in a Marriage

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Some people who are engaged to be married or recently married begin to notice concerning things about their partner. They are showing signs of addiction, or they are secretive about where time and money goes. It could be that the concerned partner is aware that the person they are in a relationship with has an addiction, but does not know what to do about it. The choice to act is a critical one. Consider the typical story of someone who tries to sweep their partner’s addiction under the rug.

Because addiction is a confirmed disease, mental disorder and generally unhealthy behavior, it can never help a marriage – only hurt it. Spouses of addicts have described the experience of being married to an addict as exhausting, painful, maddening and frightening. Addicts do not have an appropriate amount of time, money or energy to put toward their spouse because they are focusing it on their addiction. Therefore, they begin to experience feelings of neglect. Some spouses never address the issue, and their feelings of neglect grows into a distant, unhappy marriage. Others address the matter, and are almost never met with a healthy response. Addicts are protective of their addiction, and will fight someone who challenges it. This can lead to intense fighting, even scenes of violence, without the proper intervention. If the addiction becomes severe. the addict will lose touch with reality and jeopardize their well-being and safety, inflicting fear and stress on their partner. All of this culminates to either a very unhappy, broken marriage or a painful divorce.

The necessity of addressing your partner’s addiction with professional help is one that cannot be overlooked. Your mental and physical health and safety depend on it. If your spouse or romantic partner is exhibiting signs of addiction, reach out for help a soon as possible. Contact a local addiction service network or rehabilitation center to be put in touch with a professional interventionist and draw your support system close to you. There is hope for change and recovery!

Addressing Addiction Before Tying the Knot

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Couples who are engaged are looking forward to a lot of happy planning in their future. But sometimes, engaged couples can be so preoccupied with the fun, ceremonial plans for their relationship that they neglect to address the unhealthy behaviors that will cause problems for them once the honeymoon is over. One particularly devastating relationship problem is addiction.

Addiction is something that can be hidden for a long time in a relationship, but once the relationship reaches a certain level of commitment, addiction will become apparent. An alcoholic will reveal frequent nights of being incapacitated, and frequent mornings of being hungover. A sex addict will exhibit abnormal behaviors in the bedroom, such as control and anger.

It is a very common mistake for the spouse-to-be to tell themselves they should wait until the marriage begins before they gently urge their partner to correct their addictive behavior. Most engagements are between relatively new couples who do not want to rock the boat too much in the relationship. However, this is one of the worst tactics a person can adopt going into a new marriage. Being upfront and transparent about your expectations of marriage is imperative during engagement in order to make your partner understand your needs and in order to set personal boundaries within the relationship. The longer a person waits to enforce healthy relationship standards, the harder it will be to have them met.

Perhaps you are the spouse who waited too long to deal with addiction, and now the addiction is destroying your spouse’s life as well as yours. Perhaps you are engaged, and right now you have the chance to address a serious problem before it increases in severity. Do not hesitate to seek professional help. Real cases of addiction require real professional intervention in order to heal, and mental health experts are eager to help addicts find their way to recovery.